Disappointments

Disappointments. We all experience them. They hurt. They can be a blow to our self-esteem. Yet, we can manage how we react and respond to them. That is key to lessening their impact and moving forward in a positive, healthier direction.  As this image so eloquently states, “Disappointments are just God’s way of saying I have got Something Better”.  I believe and know this is true from first hand experience.

I would like to share a couple of examples of recent disappointments, small and large, I have encountered.

Just this morning I was getting ready to put on one of my necklaces when I had a case of the fumbles and it hit the floor.  We have concrete floors and often say, they are not forgiving.  I heard that high pitched ‘tink’ sound, indicating the demise of the item.  That’s right, a rather long slender oval shaped stone in its setting cracked.  It was a piece I had made, worn and enjoyed.  Fortunately, the crack isn’t readily apparent to the naked eye.  However, it is noticeable to the touch, but since it is mine, no one will notice it.

At first I was disappointed that one of the pieces I made is now flawed.  Visions of my childhood years rush past my mind’s eye of all the many items glued back together at my parent’s home.  It seemed like each of us was always breaking something!  Fiesta-ware, crystal wine glasses, gravy boats, china figurines…..that was the norm.  My Dad would sit at the kitchen table and painstakingly glue the broken bits and pieces back together.  Now a beautiful Sonoran Sunrise stone I have in my art jewelry collection is cracked.  Could I brood about it for the rest of the day, week, or longer?  Sure.  In this case, I thought, oh well.  It happens.  I can’t go back in time and prevent it from happening.  Can I still wear the piece? Yes.  Will anyone know when they look at it?  No.  In the grand scheme of things, it is no big deal.  I have chosen to not let this ruin my day and I have accepted it.

Sure the example of a broken stone in a piece of jewelry is really minor compared to the situations we encounter every day.  At least that is my take on it.  The proverbial “Why cry over spilt milk?”

This next example of a recent disappointment is a bit harder for me.

People.  Friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, even strangers can disappoint us.  Actually I find it is their behavior that disappoints.  These situations are where I find managing my expectations of others to be key to shrugging things off and not letting my perception of their bad behavior have an adverse affect on me, my outlook, even my day.

Someone entered my life a few years ago and we became friends.  Almost from the start, I noticed this person had a tendency misrepresent truths about their activities and their life.  Their spin on these misrepresentations, “just a little white lie, they don’t hurt anyone”.  Really?  Not in my book.  Noting the behavior, I became cautious in my encounters with them and eventually had to distance myself.  The last straw, if you will, was the most blatant of deceptions about their personal life and current job.

As a very elaborate story was being woven and told to me and others (including people I know), something just didn’t ring completely true and factual.  Having been a former investigator, when the puzzle pieces don’t fit together correctly, something is up.  I was wondering what was really happening.  This person had spun some fanciful tales in the past, what are they doing now?  It has been my experience that the truth does eventually surface and it did the beginning of this week.  The real story is out there for all of us to see.   Public knowledge.  I think because my mom always told me to tell the truth, when someone intentionally deceives me (let alone some of my friends), well, I am done.  I no longer want to be involved with anyone who I cannot trust.  I think I knew the day was coming when all ties would be broken, yet I think it’s part of our spirit to hope people will change.

Initially I was disappointed by this person’s behavior.  Yes, it hurt to think that someone thought so little of me or others that they intentionally deceived all of us.  Then it hit me.  There are toxic people.  It’s ok to walk away from them.  In fact, it is imperative for your own health and well being to remove anything toxic from your life.

In the true spirit of synchrodestiny (the ebb and flow of the Universe giving guidance) this blog post came to me 2 days after the incident.   There’s a lot to Appreciate in the Very Moment by Marc and Angel Hack Life  .  This post spoke to me about this very situation.  I’d like to share some important points from their post:

  • You don’t have control over the things people say about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it.
  • When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached an opportunity for growth.
  • Give your best to life, and life will return the favor many times over.
  • Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t try to carry your entire past and future around with you.

The bottom line, life will have its moments of disappointments.  We can choose to go down a dark path of despair, woe is me and throw a huge pity party…..OR….we can choose to let it go.  Move forward.  Learn from the experience and view it as an opportunity for personal growth.  I work at this every day.  I can tell you that I am happier and more content when I let go of the negatives and give gratitude for all the wonderful people and experiences in my life.  It’s not easy, but it is worth it.  I think you will find this to be the case too.

Namaste.