Emotional Vampires

Image of a Dementor from the Harry Potter Movies

What in the world do I mean by “Emotional Vampires”?   The term certainly evokes a negative emotion; at least it does for me.  Have you heard of them?  Have you experienced what they are capable of doing?  Sadly, I have.

For those of you familiar with the Harry Potter series, I liken Emotional Vampires to The Dementors because of what they are capable of doing.  However, in their physical appearance, they have a  much nicer demeanor than that exhibited by a Dementor.

Emotional Vampires look like perfectly ordinary people, but that is exactly where it ends, because they are by no means ordinary.

The existence of emotional vampires was first brought to my attention by an artist friend about 12 years ago.  We were engaged in a great conversation when she suddenly said, “Are you aware you attract emotional vampires?” and pointed to my heart.  I was a bit taken back by that, frowned, shook my head and said, “No, what are you talking about?”

She restated that I attracted emotional vampires and as our conversation continued, I began to understand what she was talking about.  It became clear who had been the first emotional vampire in my life.

Just like a Dementor, the emotional vampire will steal your joy and any good feelings they can harvest from the very core of your being.  Unlike a Dementor, they have the ability to charm their way into your life and start draining any essence of happiness you possess before you realize what is happening.  They will leave you emotionally exhausted and your mind whirling from the assault.  The more it happens, the worse you feel.  They are highly toxic.

In my case, I had the good fortune of rediscovering my true, authentic self with the help of another lifelong friend.  Our combined positive energies brought both of us back to the respective lives we were meant to have.  It was as if we had our very own version of the Patronus Charm that Harry Potter effectively used to repel his Dementors.

For years I had been oppressed by the constant barrage of this ‘person’ diminishing who I was in a very twisted way.   By stealing my moments of joy, they were attempting to feel better about who they were.  I found that my tormentor, this emotional vampire, was seeking positive emotional reinforcement at my expense.  They seek to take your happiness because they don’t know how to be happy, they are extremely insecure with huge egos and generally they are narcissistic.  Too bad they don’t come with WARNING labels.

Thankfully, my spirit started to grow and soar.  It was a very real awakening. The shackles of torment were broken by a very healthy self-esteem, personal courage and my fierce desire to live a full and meaningful life.  Frankly I reached a point where I could no longer deal with this poison in my life and my authentic self found the positive means to escape.

At this stage in my life, I still have no idea what it is about me that attracts them to me. I still have encounters with emotional vampires.  However, because I’m aware of their existence, I can protect myself.  A few have tried to work their way into my life.  Their discovery comes much quicker for me now and I have been able to create boundaries to prevent much, if any, damage to by spirit.

It all boils down to awareness.  Becoming aware of our circumstances.  Why do we feel like we do?  What’s the source?  What’s the cause?  Is there someone in your life that continually brings you to a low point?

Learn.  Continue to grow as a person.  Be aware. Prevent others from stealing your joy.  Meditate.  Pray.  Believe in you and how special you are.  These are some of the most powerful tools you can have in your arsenal to protect yourself from the emotional vampire; believe me I know.